my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.
A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.
fuckin morphed into usian bolt
Go shit in a bowl of water
scald your asshole with the splashback itll make it way easier
burn your ass squatting like an idiot over a bowl of boiling water go on youre already a disappointment to your mother do it you piece of
*lawyer voice* eat a dick, your honor
Real friends - I’ve given up on you